Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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