We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
