omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
