ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize