ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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