Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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