All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
