i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
