Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
