I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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