He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize