***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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