Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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