Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just googled if crying burns calories
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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