their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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