Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
