in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
