my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
