Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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