wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
