Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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