Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
