obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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