All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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