Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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