Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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