he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
