Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
