I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Bring me that man meat
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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