K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
