My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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