Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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