Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wish my penis had a tongue
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
