marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
be right there i have to get my cape
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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