It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
