quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
