This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
