basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
