Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Houston, we have a blender
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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