stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Come see our sink grown plant.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize