its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
