Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

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(860): View more from Connecticut

He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

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(404): View more from Georgia

i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday

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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony

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(631): View more from New York

Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.

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(512): View more from Texas

Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.

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