I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
