I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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