I cockslap morals
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
