THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
