how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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