drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
