It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
