ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
