now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
