As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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