never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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