I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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