Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
