I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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