HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
