Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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