Well apparently he's into motor boating.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
