he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
