his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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