Your face is a jimmy john
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
