My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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