then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
