Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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