My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
