Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
