So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
